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A breakfast of coffee, toast and cold cereal waited for me."Good morning Svetlana," she said."Good morning." This is the end of the trip for me. Good luck."Soon I was sitting alone in the back of the van, which was part of a convoy of vans and trucks that were all black. We were waived through the checkpoint and I was welcomed by the facility's head officer and his security team.They took one look at me and laughed. It was as though they were expecting a really lousy drag queen-spy to show up on their doorstep. Either they weren't fooled at all or someone had tipped them off. I'll never know for sure.I was arrested on the spot.***So here I am, two weeks later, stuck alone in a cell in an Iraqi military prison eating gruel twice a day. The warden knows a smattering of English and has told me I'll probably be traded for Iraqi spies or the Al-Qaeda imprisoned at Guantinimo Bay. I'll probably never know who abducted me, whether it was the CIA, Mossad, British Intelligence, or even the. ”“Fine. I’ll just run in, meet with Smokey Joe, make the deal, or not, and be home within an hour.”“Would that be the same Smokey Joe, Bull spoke of last night?”“I suspect it is. How many guys would have that name?” I left her and changed my clothes. When I came back, she was standing by the door.“What?” she snapped. “You surely don’t think I’d let you go by yourself do you? You don’t know how to say no. I’ll be there to keep you out of trouble.” I just won a fifty-dollar bet with myself.Standing close to Smokey Joe, I revised my weight estimate. The big son of a bitch had to weigh at least four hundred pounds. I’m nearly six feet tall, and I had to crane my neck to look up at him. He was nearly seven feet tall. Smokey Joe seemed to be standing a lot closer to me than I was to him. We were in the back room of my shop.“Nice place you got here,” Joe said. He had a soft voice, and barley spoke above a whisper. “Lots of stuff.”“Yeah, thanks. It takes a lot of stuff to make a good video..
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